losing a soul mate

This is the question that I always ask myself. Sometimes it is just Big Brother is off so now. What next? Tonight it was a nice walk for my dog. That was an easy one. As I venture into this flirting hang out, befriend new people (girls). This is a much harder what next. I've met a few girls that it is like I could date her. But what then, I know I am not ready for any kind of commitment. So I then don't know what is right and wrong. I mean, it is ok if I have sex with sixty girls this year. I would not in anyway have loved Susie less, or miss her any more. But my problem is knowing this; I just don't feel like I am being honest with myself or the girls that I do this flirt hang out thing with. But I still do it, I really don't know all the reasons but I think I need someone to hold me. I have had lots of hugs the last five months but only a few times have I felt really held. Then mostly it was a friend that would feel my need and really give me a hug with passion. Believe me though I am not completely talking about sex, in fact I miss the intimacy more right now. That is what a few of my friends have hit on. I think a couple of these hugs were as good for my friends as for me (we all have issues and problems). So as I venture toward this dating thing, looking for intimacy, I have to say what next? And I just don't know. I know I am very lonely, and am not wanting to fill a need for me that winds up hurting someone else. But I am almost certain this will happen. Cause if you can't imagine what next you probably aren't ready for it. So I guess I go to bed and tomorrow maybe I will begin to truly think about what next.