Tuesday, November 29, 2005

 

dating

I have became friends with an old friend of Susie's and we have spent quite a bit of time talking and have progressed to actually going out. You do not know how hard it is to write this. I feel guilt where none should be. We seem to click and have a lot in common. I am scared though cause I know how lonely I have been...I don't know what I want right now, but it makes me feel good when she treats me like a man who is attractive. So I have wrote this down, now what is crazy here is oh I feel like if I am going out on dates, I shouldn't be in mourning, but I still hurt, I still feel all alone a lot of the time. I still feel like a part of me is gone and the void will never be filled.

Comments:
It's ok, Kevin. It really is. Keep your wits about you, though. Stay in the moment, because what the moment has to teach you, will last you a lifetime. Pay attention to things. It's ok. It's not an all or nothing deal: It's not like you begin to spend time with another lady, and the pain is over. Just take it one minute at a time, then an hour, then a day, etc.
 
This is a tough one. "Dating." It was uncomfortable enough when I was a teenager but after 19 years of marriage-- it is awful. I just have no idea how to respond. So almost four years after my husband died, I am still toying with the idea. I find riding horses a lot less stressful! Although I really miss having the companionship of a man to dream and plan with. Dates are not about that though are they? I'll have to blog about this more... www.riders4c.blogspot.com
Be sure and let us know how the dating experience goes Kevin. At this point in your grieving process I would certainly only commit my time and not my heart. Give God a chance to heal that heart and prepare you for new love (comment on that too because I've seen others jump into a new relationship before a year--- some with regrets and some okay. I was advised to change nothing for a year and in retrospect-- I think that was a good idea--even two years. It allowed the ebb and flow of my grief to take it's course.)
 
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