losing a soul mate

How can I know what to do. A part of me wishes all of Susie's clothes were gone from the house. I mean most of me wishes that. Today I thought about moving some of them, but instead I took a nap. Now I sit, here wondering what my hold up is. A part of me wants them to go to someone who can understand Susie and how great she was, boy does that sound looney. Susie was not her things, she was the person who lit up my life, gave me a reason to be. She was a caring, wonderful person. Her clothes are just things. But yet I still hold onto them. I don't do anything with them, I don't draw strength from them. Yet I still don't know how to let them go. The hard part is I know for me to start living a new life that I ultimately have to get rid of them(get rid of them sounds harsh). I wish I could make the world better giving them away. I know I am living in the past as long as her clothes are in the closets. It makes me sad as I I think about this, not sure I rally want to go on. I tell everyone that yes I want to get marrried again. Susie and I talked of this she was so strong. Now I think maybe I keep them so that I have an out, I can act like I want to go on, yet say nope I am unable to do this at this time. Wow as I think about this I am like maybe I am using them as a crutch, as long as they are here my life really can't be healed. So do I continue to wait? Will their be a right time? Should I make myself do it to remove my crutch? Removing my crutch, could that really prove to me that I can't go on? I know now I can get close, then say I am not ready. If I lose my crutch I may give up, I may realize that no I do not want to find someone else. That I can not get past Susie. Now I can say oh when the clothes are gone. But what if when their gone if I still can't get past it? I did not re-read or edit this so it probably sounds like a babbling. Although after putting this down and thinking about it, I am a long way from ready to take any steps away from my mourning.