Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Sad movies
I went to see a movie this weekend, I cried like a baby (not an exaggeration). The movie was “the family stone” with Claire Danes, Diane Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Dermot Mulroney and Sara Jessica parker. The mom Diane Keaton had breast cancer and dies. But before that in the movie she is in bed with her husband and she grabs his hand and pulls it toward her chest and you see her scar and that is how you found out she has breast cancer. This scene brought on 2 thoughts of emotion for me the first as she was talking and worrying about what would happen to the ones she loves was Susie through and through but that one I deal with all the time. The other emotion came from the intimacy of her grabbing his hand and pulling it to her breast (he was also reaching for her). This made me think of Susie in the most intimate way (it was like someone else feeling something I thought was only in me). Susie always worried about me, my needs and desires. Also, at times she needed reassurance of her desirability. She never asked for this, but I tried and hope conveyed to her that I loved her and found her beautiful inside and out. This scene is of two people sharing something that is special. Not everyone gets to, in this life, share a moment like this. Susie and I shared several moments like that, I am thankful for those. But watching that on the movie brought them back and made me wish for just one more moment with her like that, but that’s one wish I will never get. So I cried my tears and told myself to be thankful that I was the one chosen to share moments like that with her. I have been blessed and need to be thankful for what I have and have had; instead of worrying about what I lost or didn’t have.
So anyway this movie was prety good, in places the plot is not completly beleivable but the acting is great and the emotions it brings out of losing someone you love would get 2 thumbs up from me. Blessing to you all and I wish you a Merry Christmas kevin
So anyway this movie was prety good, in places the plot is not completly beleivable but the acting is great and the emotions it brings out of losing someone you love would get 2 thumbs up from me. Blessing to you all and I wish you a Merry Christmas kevin
# posted by kevin @ 6:10 PM 
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Hi Kevin: Hey, I saw that movie, too, and that scene really got to me, too. But, for different reasons. For me, Gordon had felt afraid, or, maybe repulsed by my scar. That hurt. He did not want to even touch me and that was very very difficult. So, I found that moment in the movie, very beautiful, but very sad, because I have never had that kind of acceptance from my husband, when I needed it the most.
So, I am so glad for Susie, that she had you. And, how lucky she was! Believe me..... that was important, as there are so many things wrapped up in desire when you lose a breast. So, good job. Here it's been two years, and it still hurts me, that he rejected me in that way. But, he was also very sick.
I hope you had a good christmas. I am sure it was hard.
Rose
So, I am so glad for Susie, that she had you. And, how lucky she was! Believe me..... that was important, as there are so many things wrapped up in desire when you lose a breast. So, good job. Here it's been two years, and it still hurts me, that he rejected me in that way. But, he was also very sick.
I hope you had a good christmas. I am sure it was hard.
Rose
Don't feel bad about crying at a movie (even though it's harder for guys I guess). When I was crawling out of the pit of grief, I once cried at the grocery store over a bottle of party toothpicks. The clerk said, "Are you okay?" I replied, "YES" sob...sob...sob..."It's just that once my husband had to have a party toothpick surgically removed from his big toe..." Bigger sobs. You probably understand what I am talking about but believe the clerk hadn't a clue. That was my first, "Just be honest with your feelings in the moment" trial. If you feel good, feel good. If you feel bad, or sad, feel it. If the person with you feels uncomfortable, let them deal with their own feelings.
My first date, three years after my husband died was a picnic. My son came, 7 at the time, and said, "I wish dad was here." What could I say? In front of my date I responded, "Me, too, honey." Needless to say that was the last time we went out but it really wasn't a comment about him or whether I was enjoying time with him or not. I guess it is hard for someone who hasn't been through it to really understand that.
My first date, three years after my husband died was a picnic. My son came, 7 at the time, and said, "I wish dad was here." What could I say? In front of my date I responded, "Me, too, honey." Needless to say that was the last time we went out but it really wasn't a comment about him or whether I was enjoying time with him or not. I guess it is hard for someone who hasn't been through it to really understand that.
Hi Kevin!!! I found you thru Damon and his girlfriend's Blog! I just started blogging Feb.19! Come and and visit me!!!
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